A Look On The Inside (12)
by Damon Felix DeAngelo
(Milwaukee,WI , USA)
"Suicide, Suicide, Suicide!" muttered a weak, pallid looking man with shaggy black hair and eyes as dark and never-ending as a black hole. The eyes seemed to have been painted black thousands of times over each a shade darker than the last. Though dark as they had an odd glint about them almost as if a light bulb were behind them thinking endless thoughts that rivaled those of greats like Einstein. He however looked like a bum the kind you'd see drunk and homeless laying on the sidewalk of the bustiest street in town during rush hour. The man looked around just now noticing that all his peers stay staring at him,one of them seething with anger his silver snake like eyes staring intently upon the bum that was his best friends other half, another one of them grinning and muttering "Indeed, suicide it is quite peculiar isn't it? I recall saving someone from this position once. He was quite pathetic I do regret it from time to time." The man with warm brown eyes lashed out immediately at the man who was his other half.
"The fuck did you just say?" he said walking towards him fists clenched. The man who was his other half didn't even move "No need to yell my friend i am merely a few feet from you am I not? We can be civilized can't we? Oh, wait I forget who I'm talking to the idiot who can't even control himself, I'm sorry I'm just confusing you now. Ahem, me is smart you is dumb, you listen to me and go shh shh quiet. There we go I think I'm getting thru now." He stood grinning so sure of himself, the tension grew heavy in the room the peers hatred and discord was strong and but none could act on it not yet. The warm irrational loving heart placed a hand on his large 2-handed sword staring at the dark twin of himself so immature yet so in control and so powerful he had done so much yet was evil inside, he too had power but could not control it nor himself thus he was a liability but he had to fight this evil he loved his master and sought his happiness he loved all people. He started to walk away when the dark cold twisted heart said "That's right walk away, again.. like you did so many times in the past abandoning those you so swore to protect abandoning those closest to our master and finally our master himself! "
Instantly, 3 things happened the mind a man shrouded in grey that seemed so still and professional he would seem like a robot were it not for the fact that this robot had too much pride to be a robot, shot a fierce glance at a man with a large silver shield and various other weapons snakelike eyes and the bums twin soul he liked to be called. Instantly in a flash this man was at his friends the loving heart's side and held his hand on his blade and urged the boy to be still. The crazy drunken bum began laughing hysterically and pounding the floor with his bare hands and feet making himself look like a crazy monkey. Everyone glanced looks of disgust at him
and he laughed harder.
The Mind was now growing annoyed however sat silent trying to sit though. The Dark Heart appealed to the Mind now. He spoke with eloquence "Mind, I see you are troubled there is no peace or stability in an environment such as the one caused by this, now we are here at your request to parlay and debate on the course of action our master should take concerning his friend planning suicide." The cold but divine, protective and martyr like Light Soul now seek to butt in and silence the Dark Heart "Mind, why would you consider the words of such a foul man to be of any use let us handle this alone, we have started something great. Who has given you the ability to manage your thoughts with such mastery," he was instantly cut off "Silence" The Mind bellowed " I wish to hear what this man says and do not interrupt again. The thoughts of a mind so great as mine are not easily managed, as such I will tolerate no more interruptions. Dark Heart please proceed, if you would."
"Thank you, Mind, my good friend now as I was saying we've gathered here to decide whether Damon, our master should help his friend planning to commit suicide or not. Now I ask from a logical standpoint what does Damon have to gain from this, Let's pretend we did save him an easily manageable task that would take minimal effort from someone as gifted as Damon. So the boy is saved but what would our actions cause what would they cause that my friends is simple. Nothing but another burden for Damon to carry. The boy you wish to save is weak and lacks mastery over himself he will try to leech off Damon in the process Damon dragging him down with him. Damon will be looked at like a hero and everyone will want to use him. Do you remember the long-winded talks he had trying to teach the boy how to solve his problems yet the boy never listened and simply stole time our greatest resource from Damon. The worst is we will never be able to get rid of him he will always remember Damon as the one who saved his life. I
urge you no I beg you not to do this." Mind now spoke "What do you intend, Dark Heart?"
"We push the boy to his death and watch him die, focusing intently as his emotions and life fall from his grip." the Dark Heart's eyes grew wide as if he were a bloodthirsty tiger eyeing up a piece of fresh meat. "You would seek to damage the mental health of our Master's mind my sanctum by having the boy watch his best friend die firsthand and causing it?" Dark Heart paced the room "As a matter of fact I do. We have much to gain here he will experience new emotions and thoughts he has never dreamed of we can conquer them together bringing him to a higher level of knowledge, it will cut the boy out of society allowing his true self to blossom and he will have more drive than ever imaginable and be closer to the complete numbness you seek when we do this together." Dark Heart now yielded back "That is all mind."
The Warm Loving Heart was struggling dearly to hold it all in his loathing of the Dark heart making him feel as though his blood was boiling, the sadness that choked him and made him panic inside at the thought of an a loved one dying, at him failing to protect him at the cries of the boy's loved ones and the disgust at what the sick man had just said. "You sick tainted fiend!" Light Soul screamed "Mind, are you seriously considering this the act might traumatize our master and cause him to follow suit." "But if it works think of the immense power we'd obtain, the risk is worth the reward in my eyes."
Mind now spoke " I am deeply disturbed by the proposition you offer however, I do believe the plan would work. I respect Dark Heart's opinion after all he did save Damon and bring us new found knowledge." "Are you mad?" screamed the warm loving heart "You can't be serious you would let someone die for power." "At least if I let someone die Heart it would be for a cause and wouldn't be our master, as I recall when Damon needed us you weren't there nor we're the ones you hold so dear, so you hold you're fucking tongue. I've heard enough from you." The Dark Soul now laughed and pulled out a dagger and aimed it at Warm Heart as though it were a gun and shot it in a pretend fashion while screaming "Bang!" and laughing hysterically.
Mind now spoke "Light Soul let me hear your thoughts on the matter, and do be thorough." Light Soul stepped forward unfaltering, an adamant aura seemed to be radiating from him.
Light Soul now stood before him and began to speak. "Mind I think we all know what you seek and that is power in all it's form. I can give you that as I have very well proven by bringing countering the actions of Damon's dark side. If you let this boy die simply to seek power you are seeking the easy way out you cannot grow from that, you must be challenged continuously and fail and then grow from it. Dark Heart and Dark Soul have no respect for you and will fight you at every turn leading you to your downfall. At the same time if you Dark Soul will grow stronger do you really want this senile man any stronger than he is; you will have only more discord weakening you. Lastly, if you save this boy our bond will strengthen and together we can grow and I can help you gain the power you so seek. This is my plea I know you will make the right choice."
Mind stood there thinking tapping into his own thoughts. Dark Heart and Light Soul stood staring each other down both had their eyes full of hate and disgust. Finally, Mind declared his decision. "I have decided, we will save the boy." Dark Heart look extremely angered, Light Soul barely reacted, Light Heart looked relieved and Dark Soul rather bored more so than anything else. One by one they began to retreat to their own private quarters all except Dark Heart and Dark Soul, who lay on the floor like a bum.
Then, Dark soul threw off his coat and combed his greasy hair, leaving a well-tailored man. "Finally, god it's taken long enough. They really are such fools blinded by their morals and emotions." cackled Dark Soul. "It's pathetic" muttered Dark Heart. "I'm glad things went our way and we didn't have to cash out on that investment its yields have been just so amazing." said Dark Soul. Dark Heart and Dark Soul sat daydreaming for a second. Their thoughts filled with images of an abused, hindered and desperate Damon, the one forced to turn to Dark Heart in order to save himself; save himself from a hollow, depressing and slow death inside and out.