"Pinch!"

by Kody Allcroft
(Bangor, Maine)

I’m not a typically nervous person. On more occasions than one, I’ve been told that I am an incredibly forward, unafraid, outgoing person. My nickname in college was “loudgirl” for goodness sakes. So you would think that all this bubbly overflow of personality onto those within a twenty foot radius would have to stem from somewhere deep within. However, I am a firm believer in clichés, and I follow the old adage that you should never judge a book by its cover.

While I appear fearless, my interior is unfortunately timid. And I feel as though I have a reputation to uphold! So, since as far back as I could remember, I’ve needed a way to channel those quiet, small little fears. My coping mechanism? I started pinching necks.

It wasn’t a problem at first…at least not that I can recall. I mean, I was only about three when the nasty habit started. My grandmother, god bless her soul, has a bit of a saggy neck. Naturally, I would go to her in times of strife; after all, she is the most comforting woman in my life (my mother is eccentric, at best). I don’t know if arms were too obvious and hair was just not so nice, but somehow pinching my grandmother’s neck with my little light grip was…soothing. Her warm neck felt soft, and she would always tease, but I know it didn’t hurt, so I just kept on with this habit.

To this day, in my ridiculous loud girl personality, in times of serious discomfort, I generally find myself pinching my own neck; no one’s big enough to cradle me in their arms anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop, it’s become natural. Talk about strange, huh?



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