In-oz-picious Pool Party

by Mandy Maloon
(Seattle, Washington, USA)

Today was my 13th birthday party, and I had it all planned out perfectly. For some reason, pool parties are all the rage now – even my friends were begging me to throw one, which makes absolutely no sense. It’s a little crazy, but I think it’s because they wanted an excuse to wear skimpy clothing in front of boys. I knew no one would come if the invitation didn’t say “Pool Party,” but I showed them; I didn’t invite any boys. Suckers. Anyway, they couldn’t complain, there was a pool after all. A small pool of water in a bucket, but still – a pool. I had a lovely emerald green cake, my favorite color. Then some magician performed. What was his name again? Oscar? Ox? I don’t remember – it doesn’t really matter though. He was awful! He did a trick where he pulled a fluffy white rodent with abnormally long ears out of an empty black hat, and expected us to believe that was magic. Yes, it was a heretofore previously unknown species of mammal – very interesting, Mr. Magician – but hardly what I would call magic. Try creating a monkey-pigeon hybrid with the sheer power of your thoughts, and then tell me you can do magic! Anyway, we sent that charlatan packing in his flying balloon vehicle pretty quickly, let me tell you! After that, it was time for presents. That’s when things really started going downhill. I mean, all I asked for was one simple thing. A pair of sparkly silver shoes to match my sparkly silver dress so I don’t look like a mismatched freak at the Cotillion formal. I really believe that silver is my color. If these witches were my TRUE friends, they would agree with me, and stop buying me stupid black pointed hats and black pointed shoes, and black pointed EVERYTHING. Is that so much to ask for?? I don’t think so. Ok, so maybe I got a little angry. Perhaps the party got a little bit - out of hand – at that point. But hey, I wasn’t the one who asked for a Pool Party in the first place. That was North-East, North-West, South-East, and South-West. I was just trying to give my friends a wicked good time. It was MY birthday, however. They should have had a more little courtesy. They should have remembered whose house they were in. And where the bucket was.